And now, a Ben Holt production… A play entitled…
“Liberals and Conservatives Argument About Gun Control for the past like 30 fucking years”
“these shootings are getting crazy, we need to do something”
“Absolutely! Just don’t take our guns”
“okay what about like investing in mental health resources?”
“you raise our taxes a penny we will freak out”
“okay well what about maybe not spending like 75% of our annual budget on buying more bombers to kill palestinian kids? transfer some of that to social services or something?”
“what are you a communist? you anti-military? fuck no you pussy”
“okay well what about gun reform? not taking your guns, just like adding background checks”
“why don’t we just wipe our ass with the constitution while were at it? ITS THE SECOND FUCKING AMENDMENT BRO”
“okay well what about the other amendments like the 1st, 4th, 6th, 8th, and 13th that you seem not to particularly give a shit about?”
“stop changing the subject, this is about guns”
“okay well what keeping a registry of like domestic abusers or something, the stuff that is statistically absolutely linked to mass shootings?”
“god you liberals just want registries for everyone. What is this some master plan by bill gates to take over the world? input microchips in us?”
“okay, well what the fuck can we do?”
“Don’t worry we’re on it. We are leading a prayer service this Sunday to commemorate those we tragically lost”
“okay… well thanks for listening i guess, let’s try this again in 4 years”
“sounds great! oh by the way, you’re totally gonna get the blame for all of this shit from basically all sides. Some will think the shootings are fake and democrats are planting actors. Some will blame you for not passing laws to prevent this even though we (chuckles) will NEVER let that shit happen. Some will blame you not having a plan even though you have tried multiple options.”
“well this seems incredibly unfair. i feel like you should share some blame in this?”
“god you fucking liberal whiners. get over yourselves, good lord. just bitch bitch bitch and obstruct. what happened to the days of john wayne when men were men and we just got shit done?”
“…. wut? what does an an actor have to do with any of this?”
“oh that’s right you, in 2021 it would probably be JENNY wayne and she’d be leader of the me too movement”
“what the fuck are we even talking about anymore?”
AND SCENE
Brew City Benjamin 